Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
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