it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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