Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
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