I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
