Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
