3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
