BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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