Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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