Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
