Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
