If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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