Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
