You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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