His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
