You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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