know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
The power of my boobs compel you
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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