I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
