at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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