Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
