Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
