I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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