At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
