Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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