I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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