is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
