I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
