I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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