i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
