I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
