I want to have your abortion
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
