i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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