Say something about gay babies.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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