sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
