What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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