Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
