WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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