Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
