small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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