Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
