all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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