I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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