Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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