Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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