Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
