so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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