She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
