So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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