so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
