Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
