one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
My ATM looks so different sober.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
